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Ria_mariska
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read my profile
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Name: credentia*]]
Gender: Female
Interests: thinking, drowning, writing
With adorations, fertile tears,
With groans that thunderlove, with sighs.
Expertise: perfectionist with mysophobia
Such glamorous world is not for me,
For I'm just a simple, small potato.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/2/2004
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| There's nothing much, it's just he doesn't understand,
or she, nor them.
Well, I am pretty sure I'm not head over heels yet.
What I don't care or can't be bothered was simply
not wanting to live up to everyone's expectations and
hence sufficing their unrequenched needs of love.
If only I can learn to be more selfish and unkind
so as to treat myself better, value myself higher or
do whatever please me...
Come what may.
It's just wrong timing, both literally and practically.
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| per se I open myself up to people and outpour my heart,
perchance I really like you but you take it for granted.
maybe I am a person who know exactly what I want and the only reason why I am still treading this water is I simply wouldn't let go.
let's say the hardest thing is to predict humans reactions since we are all complicated,
I know by heart the effects of me saying these things.
"let's say all the things we never said" is not possible nor is it even probable.
I never regret.
what's done, is done.
per se this is my everything,
perchance your promise doesn't worth a thing.
Albeit inertia is contagious, it just takes time.
opening a folder is not hard, neither is closing one.
it's not the first time, nor will this be my last.
when would my words fly up and my thoughts remain below,
when I would finally understand, accept and live with it...
In all honesty, I detest inexplicable reasons/factors/influences/determinants per se.
to sleep, perchance to dream.
love rival? *hiss* there's no love, where comes the rivalry?
ps. it seems like I cannot avoid giving affaire d'amour consultations...
suppose c'est my destiny.
I should settle for this.
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| actually I just realized I am a person/friend/girl that demands/requires/needs close maintenance.
I have always thought that I am insensitive and often too practical, sometimes insensibly paranoid.
as toreay questioned my favourite colour was actually derived from observation instead of pure fascination,
I wonder how bad I can get.
ah well, come whatevery may. in Him.
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| I know that I might have overreacted
but I seriously cannot stand others lying to me
especially those I treated as friends.
Seldom I hear things, I listen and respond according to heart.
Supposedly I simply cannot assume everyone does the same
whom I have learnt through experiences, I need not take heart.
I need not your answer to my prompts,
you can simply say you don't want to answer
rather than giving me a 'substituting lie' which MIGHT please me...
I know not what to say
as you tell different things to different people
as how beloved I felt when I first hear 'my version'.
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| how often i fell into the trap of having found someone who really knows me,
and how often i failed.
each and every single time
when my friends need me, i try to be there
regardless.
sarcastically
when things happen, i realize they don't understand
each and every single time
anything at all.
anything.
ps. i thought we could make it in the blink of an eye. | | |
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